If you're a mum, chances are you've felt it — that little (or sometimes massive) pang of guilt that creeps in when you're not doing all the things, all the time.
You miss bedtime because of work. You lose your patience. You forget the lunchbox (again). You hand over the iPad so you can finally drink your coffee hot. And even when you do manage to juggle it all, you still wonder if it's enough.
Welcome to mum guilt — an all-too-familiar feeling that most of us experience, whether it’s our first child or our fifth.
So, why do mums feel this way?
1. We care. Deeply.
At the heart of it, mum guilt comes from love. We want to give our kids the best of us — our time, energy, attention, and affection. And when we feel like we’re falling short (even if we’re not), that guilt kicks in.
2. The pressure to “do it all”
Modern motherhood comes with a lot of expectations. Be present, work hard, eat organic, keep the house in order, raise kind kids, stay calm, don’t forget self-care — and post a smiling photo while you’re at it. It’s exhausting. And when we can’t tick every box? We feel like we’re failing.
3. Comparison is everywhere
Social media has made it too easy to compare ourselves to curated highlights of other mums. We see spotless homes, packed lunches with star-shaped sandwiches, and perfectly dressed toddlers — and think, “Why can’t I do that?” (Spoiler: no one does all of that, all the time.)
4. We’re constantly questioning ourselves
Did I do enough today? Was I too distracted? Should I have handled that meltdown better? Motherhood doesn't come with a manual, and so much of it is learned on the fly — which means second-guessing feels like part of the job description.
Let’s pause here and say this: Mum guilt is normal. But it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.
In fact, the very fact you feel guilty shows just how much you care. But here’s the truth that so many of us forget in the thick of it:
💛 You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mum.
Your child doesn’t need a flawless parent — they need you. The mum who tries. Who loves them endlessly. Who shows up even when she's running on fumes. The mum who gets it wrong sometimes, but always keeps going.
So how do we move through the guilt?
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Talk about it — You’re not alone. Every mum feels it in some way.
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Remind yourself of the truth — One tough day doesn’t undo all the love you’ve given.
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Let go of the pressure to do it all — There’s strength in doing what’s right for you and your family.
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Celebrate the small wins — Got everyone out the door this morning? That’s a win. Gave a cuddle when your child needed it? Huge win.
A little note, from one mum to another:
You are doing an incredible job. Not because you’re doing it all perfectly — but because you’re showing up, loving deeply, and giving it your all (even on the days you don’t feel like it’s enough).
Mum guilt might still pop up now and then — but it doesn’t get the final say.
You’ve got this 💛
